Who took my clothes?
by PajamaLinds
Summary: A handful of (male!!) Final Fantasy and Lord of the Rings charactors are stranded in a hotel room ... with no clothes? What the heck?! *suggested yaoi (no naughtyness ^^), language warning*


**_Who took my clothes?!  
A story of six men, no clothes, and two female tourists/stalkers._**  
  
(AN: Merry Christmas, Andie!!! This is what swimming and a long bus ride home really does to the mind *grin*)  
  
Man, you _know_ that cities make me sick, Lee mumbled to Anie, dazed by the overwhelming sites of the city ... Tokyo! Anie shook her head quickly, an opposing view coming on.  
  
Liven up, Lee-chan. We are in the anime kingdom of the world, on vacation, and surrounded by loads of hot Asian guys, she replied quickly, giving a side glance at a male passing.  
  
Lee snickered. You're worse than I am, she said under her breath.  
  
Did you say something?  
  
Not a thing, Lee said innocently. Hey, according to this map, our hotel's that way. We better go check in before it gets to late...  
  
Anie squealed. This is going to be a kick arse va-ca!  
  
***  
  
  
  
Kuja groaned, shifting his weight to one side. He felt so sick. He stood up with some difficulty, stumbled into the nearby bathroom, and proceeded to vomit. It dawned on him that he must have been hungover from last night. Wait ... why? And where was he? He scratched his head and looked in the mirror. His long silver hair was a mess, like it was one big knot. His eyes were bloodshot. He felt dirty. He loathed that feeling, but something else seemed amiss...  
  
He realized he had no clothes on! What the hell?!  
  
Kuja stepped out of the bathroom, trying to focus his eyes. Two other guys were sprawled out on the floor, both sleeping in various positions and all naked. Oh, shit...  
  
He jumped over a blonde with a facial tattoo, trying to find his clothes. He wanted out, no cares about these people. Jumping over a redhead, Kuja started to look for his pants in another corner. What the hell was going on? No one would defy The Great Kuja! he thought, his ego returning quickly to him.  
  
Where the hell are my clothes?! he growled, moving about the room.  
  
The blonde stirred and groaned. Kuja turned in surprise. He looked around, then focused on him. Who the hell are you? he grumbled, obviously sick as well. He looked around, then down on himself. Where are my clothes?  
  
I was wondering the same, Kuja replied, glancing down on himself. Where are we?  
  
I have no _fucking _idea! I just woke up!! the blonde yelled. The red-haired man stirred, but didn't awake. Kuja looked around. Now that he could see better, he realized that nobody's clothes were anywhere.  
  
He appeared to be in a hotel room. The beds were messed up and the pillows were scattered all over. Kuja stepped over the redhead and looked out the window. It was a city, much larger than he had ever seen. Where are we ... ?  
  
The blonde stood up, throwing a pillow to the side. I don't know. I don't know any of you -   
  
The redhead stirred once again. Ugh ... uh? he groaned. Hey, this isn't cool. Where are my clothes? Where the _fuck_ are my clothes?! He looked to Kuja and the blonde. Who the hell are you?  
  
The blonde stepped forward quickly. Zell Dincht, yo! And you?  
  
he mumbled, standing up. And who are you? he said with a glare at Kuja. You look like half a girl.  
  
Kuja made an aggressive move towards Reno, but was restrained by Zell. he yelled.  
  
Dude, calm down, Zell said. We're faced with a problem.  
  
Kuja growled, still glaring at Reno. Reno had an amused look in his face, then turned away. Kuja sighed. Reno turned again to face him, as though to say something else offensive.  
  
Ok, back to the beginnin' ... Who took my clothes? he demanded. Was it you, you prissy?  
  
Reno, enough! Zell yelled. Kuja fell back, shaking his head.  
  
Reno broke off laughing. Wobbling, he started to walk around the room. He caught sight of a door on one side of the room. Isn't this a closet? He walked over to it and opened it.  
  
***  
  
Aragorn coughed and opened his eyes.   
  
Aragorn, wake up. Something's amiss, the elf said, turning away from Aragorn.  
  
Legolas, what - Legolas turned. Um ... where are your clothes? Aragorn sat up. Wait, where are mine? He looked around. Boromir?! Where are his clothes?  
  
Legolas flipped his hair. I don't know.  
  
Aragorn stood up, then nearly fell over. Urg, I feel sick. He ran into the bathroom and threw up. Legolas rubbed his head. He crept over to the window and looked out. Ugh ... a city. A large city. And this must be a hotel. What the...?  
  
Legolas looked around. There were no clothes in sight. Aragorn reemerged. What happened?  
  
I have no idea. I think we got drunk last night, and... Legolas trailed off and cleared his throat. Well, I think we just got drunk last night, nothing else.  
  
What else?  
  
  
  
Oh, okay... Aragorn muttered.  
  
A cough. Aragorn and Legolas looked to the floor and saw Boromir stir. Ugh ... huh? He rolled over and continued to groan. He finally opened his eyes. What the ... where are we? Looking at the two, he said tensely. Where are your clothes? Where are _mine_?  
  
_He's going to be pissed,_ Aragorn thought.  
  
Sure enough, Boromir yelled, What the fuck?! What did you pervs _do_ to me?  
  
Legolas threw back his hair in a femine sort of way. Hopefully nothing.  
  
Boromir noticed a door across from the bathroom. This ought to be a closet. He stood up carefully, stumbled to the door, and opened it.  
  
At first he thought it was a mirror, as the other door opened at the same time. Boromir blinked. A red-haired man blinked. A moment passed before they screamed and closed the doors.  
  
What was that? Aragorn asked quickly, standing up again.  
  
Boromir breathed deeply. Con - connecting room...  
  
  
  
Someone opened the other door when I did...  
  
Legolas jumped up and dashed to the door. Aw, he's gone... he mumbled sadly. Aragorn rolled his eyes, then realized something.  
  
Legolas, go knock and asked if we could borrow a pair of pants, he stated. We need one so someone can go outside and get more pants for us.  
  
But -   
  
No, Legolas, you cannot go outside naked. Who knows what type of people live here.  
  
Legolas said sadly. He bounded over to the door and knocked. Um, excuse me, but could we borrow a pair of pants? He threw a look to Boromir and Aragorn, both of whom encouragingly nodded.  
  
Go away. We don't got any! the man shouted.  
  
Legolas scoffed. Please!? We are hungover, naked, and confused. Will you help us out? A pause. The redhead opened the door slowly. Thank y- oh! Legolas jumped back at the man's sudden naked appearance.  
  
Apparently we're having the same problem.  
  
Legolas asked, still taken aback from the man's state of nudity.  
  
We are naked, hungover, and confused, he muttered.  
  
Legolas blinked, confused once again. Aragorn! Boromir! he called. They have the same problem as us!  
  
Aragorn rolled his eyes, coming to Legolas' side. Who are you...?  
  
he replied shortly. Two other men came to his side. And this is Kuja and Zell.  
  
Legolas, and Boromir and Aragorn -   
  
Boromir jumped up. Where are our clothes?! he yelled at Zell.  
  
I have no idea!!! Zell yelled back, his temper rising. Boromir dove at him, throwing angry punches as they rolled into Boromir's room. Zell grabbed the lamp from the night stand and whacked Boromir with it. Boromir staggered to the side and recovered from the blow, throwing another punch at Zell.  
  
Kuja rolled his eyes and looked at Legolas from between Zell and Reno. Oh. My. Gosh! Ni-i-i-i-i-ice hair!  
  
Oh, why thank you! I lo-o-o-o-o-ove yours, too! What color did you use? Thus Legolas walked into Kuja's room and began to share makeup and hair secrets with one another.  
  
You have to use the proper amount of conditioner before using the color, at above room temperature...  
  
Oh really? I thought it had to be cool...  
  
Reno and Aragorn stood motionless while Legolas and Kuja giggled in a corner and Zell and Boromir continued to fight, now snapping towels at each other. Reno smirked at the fight, but Aragorn glanced at Reno. You look awfully familiar... Reno shifted is attention to him and shrugged. No, I swear, you do look familiar.  
  
Hah, yeah... Reno snickered, turning back to the fight ... but his eyes opened wide and he turned back to Aragorn. Shit, I remember now! Oh, fuck ... last night, we... He turned away, seeming like he was trying to forget a horrible memory.  
  
  
  
Think about it. We're unclothed, hungover (believe me, I know the feeling), in a hotel room, and the beds are messed up...  
  
There was an awkward pause. Aragorn blinked. Reno nodded slowly. Aragorn whimpered.  
  
I must've gotten drunk again last night, Reno muttered. And you were lookin' -   
  
He was interrupted by Zell screaming as he dove at Boromir, dangerously close to the window. Zell collided with him, and Boromir lost his balance. He made a wild grab at Zell, but he shoved him again. Boromir yelled and fell out the window.  
  
A pause. What the hell did you do?! Aragorn screamed. He ran to the window, glanced out, and turned away, sniffling. Oh dear Boromir ... I never told you that ... that I l -   
  
Um, Aragorn...? came a voice from below the window.  
  
He ran to look out the window. Boromir lay thirteen stories below, sprawled out on the street. Two girls were staring at his twitching form. The brunette started to giggle.  
  
It's BOROMIR!! she shrieked. And he's not wearing any clothes! He sat up quickly.  
  
How do you know my name? he wondered.  
  
Kuja's voice drifted down from the room. Boromir, fix your hair! That knot is disgusting!!  
  
The blonde girl started to giggle as well. It's KUJA!!  
  
What the- oh! Kuja's eyes opened wide and he ducked away from the window.  
  
Wait! Come back! she cried.  
  
Boromir stood up, as if nothing had happened, and yelled. Kuja, where are you?  
  
Get up here! someone else yelled. The brunette gasped. I think we're thirteen floors up. Boromir ran inside the hotel and began sprinting up the back staircase.  
  
The brunette grabbed the blonde and dragged her up the stairs. Come on!!  
  
Hold up, Anie. Thirteen floors...? the blonde asked.  
  
Anie sighed. You're a swimmer, Lee. You can make it. She continued to climb the stairs.  
  
No, it's not that, but how many buildings do you find with a thirteenth floor?  
  
What does it matter? Come one!! Anie grabbed Lee and dragged her up the thirteen floors. By this time, Anie was having a giggling fit and Lee had a grin plastered on her face. Boromir ducked into his room with Reno and Aragorn beckoning him in and closed the door, not noticing the girls.  
  
It's Reno!!! Lee whispered excitedly.  
  
It's Aragorn!!! Anie whispered back.  
  
They knocked on the door.


End file.
